H

I haven't been able to write recently because of so many thoughts about Haiti. This semester, I'm going to be focused on the topics of loss, grief and dying as I work as a hospital chaplain, research abortion/reproductive health and take two classes about pastoral care for the grieving and dying. At this moment before I study these topics, I'm confused about God's role in Haiti's natural disaster and how to rationalize it theologically. Even from a distance, I'm grieving the traumatic loss that the Haitians are experiencing as they grieve the death of family members and friends, the pain that the wounded are enduring, the fear of the another seemingly random quake, the dislocation of families and the lack of basic necessities. Part of me wants to angerly accuse God of hurting those we knew were most in need on this side of the world because I can't seem to blame an earthquake on a person. Why am I wanting to blame? Perhaps if we had done a better job of caring for Haiti before the quake, the buildings wouldn't have fallen so easily and clean water would have been more readily accessible. One of my dreams is to help run an orphanage but I can't even imagine the pain of lacking formula for two hundred babies, a story that I heard on the news this morning. I don't understand why I'm comfortable and so many aren't. If anyone's reading this and thinking, "Girl, stop thinking and get up and do something!" I've done what I can from where I am. I hope that as Haiti is rebuilt this spring while I'm learning about death theologically and practically, I can have better responses to these questions.