Native Culture Shock

I've heard that when you return to your native country, you again can face culture shock. I thought that the lower ceilings I'm used to in the US might be a surprise after France's wide open head spaces in most room including bathrooms. Nope. TV in English is presently intriguing (and perhaps helping me regain a wide English vocabulary) and the second big culture shock occured yesterday in the grocery store. Not because the store is asthetically pleasing or because there are endless choices, both of which differ in France where the larger grocery stores look like warehouses which still only offer three types of butter. It was the candy bars.

Did you know that a HERSHEY'S chocolate bar costs 30 cents at Walmart? That's equivalent to 14 euro cents! How about Reese's peanutbutter cups? 48 cents which equals roughly 22 euro cents. In France's Monoprix, all the chocolate bars cost about between 1.50 and 3 euros. I must have looked like a fool standing before the candy bar stand with my eyes wide in amazement and my jaw dropped... then again, maybe that's not so abnormal for women to stand like that before the chocolate. ;-)

Happy to be Home

This lady is pretty happy to be home.

Gramps is still hanging in here. He's mentally astute and we make each other laugh. He had a good point last night, that pastors and doctors need to reconsider their actions and beliefs concerning death. If we believe that we will go to heaven after we die, then Gramps questions, "Why do they always try to keep everyone alive?"

I was offered a full scholarship for theo school this spring. Whew! I was afraid I lost it because I had deferred the acceptance. Pastor John Spahr had an amazing sermon on Sunday which spoke to me confirming my recent internal conviction that leaders who teach according to Jesus' example will not only encourage radical transformation but be transformed themselves. "I am not here to endear myself to you by speaking words that make you comfortable. We're all going to feel uncomfortable..." Thus at the end of January, I'm off to NJ for the next three years.

Thanksgiving with the family was good and everyone returned safely to their New England homes. I was thrilled to see Tricia, Kenny and Amanda this weekend. Unfortunately, as Tricia, Kenny and I realized, there isn't much to do in this small college town. Luckily, we can always enjoy good conversation over a meal (thank you, France, for teaching me how to host a meal). I'm also happy to regain contact with HOPE staffers, Jville friends and Drewids via the telephone.

Admittedly, I'm enthralled by the television. I'm not sure if it's because I only have access to a tv when I visit Mom or Grandma or whether it's because I can understand what people are saying. Perhaps it's a bit of both. I've been catching myself pausing often with the French, "ahhhh," even though I'm speaking in English. Sometimes I'm still trying to mentally piece my sentences together before allowing them to escape my mouth. I probably also speak slower since I'm used to talking with people who have English as their second language. C'est la vie. That's life.

Praise God

Since last May, Gramps has been hinting that he might die before Thanksgiving when my mom's side of the family usually gathers each year for a reunion. Before going to France, I apologized to him saying, "I'm sorry I won't be able to make it for Thanksgiving." He replied, "I might not be there either..." making me nervous.

And the past six months haven't been a joy ride for the family as we've had about four close calls, thinking that Gramps would die within the day. The last time was last week when I decided to come home to join the family at the funeral and to take care of Grandma for a while.

But praise God, he's made it to Thanksgiving!! This morning, Mom, Uncle John and Uncle Chuck and I went over to visit Gramps. He said he wants to come home today and the nurse said we could sign him out for a few hours. Logistically, we have to figure out how to bundle him up sufficiently for the dropping temperatures and time his visit before the rain turns into the expected 5 inches of snow. Praise God, Gramps is alive for another Thanksgiving (although a year ago, we would have never imagined his health would become this bad)!

Sidenote: Dad's dad, Bill Parrish, died 17 years ago tomorrow, the day after Thanksgiving also on Nov. 23rd like this year. Should Gramps decide to die tomorrow after the holiday, it will become Grandfathers' Day for my immediate family. Our grandfathers are much beloved.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My mom, sister, brother and I arrived safely in Meadville, PA yesterday afternoon. Our first stop was to check in on Gramps. What a blessing to shake his hand, see him smile and hear him talk when I had been afraid he would die while I was in France. I hope he isn't lonely in the nursing home while he knows the rest of us are gathering at the house. Fingers crossed that he can join us sometime today.

I got out just in time from the French perspective too. After six days of strikes, I flew out of Paris right before a total strike on Tuesday. Also, then on Wednesday morning, vandals burned cables under the trains running to and from Paris. What an awful mess Paris is right now. Not like a war zone, but economically, all this is going to hurt.

Also worth noting, had I stayed in Grenoble, tonight I would be giving a 15-minute speech about how I made the decision to come to France with a question and answer session afterwards. Another thanks on my list, not having to do that in French...

Part of His Plan

I'm back in the states as of 3:30pm yesterday!

The keyboard's different again, so hopefully I'll have the patience to type out as much as I want to say...

Gramps is still alive! (full of good news, huh?) He's probably holding out till Thanksgiving when the whole family usually gathers.

Had a fantastic weekend with Felix in Paris. With his sister, Nina, we visited Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, Champs de Elysees, Arc de Triomphe and the Louvre. Photos will come eventually.

Funniest moment: I pushed back my short hair with a bunch of hairpins, one of which fell out while we were walking under the Eiffel Tower. Felix was horrified as I turned back to pick it up. After I explained that it was my hairpin, he said, "I thought it was a bolt and that the tower was falling apart!' ;-)

Best moment: getting a friendly hug from Felix with three bisous de Valence when we were saying "see you later" at the train station. Since I'm not accustomed to bisous and French Felix isn't used to hugs, mixing the two cultures this way was a perfect "not goodbye".

And NH's first snow is today. It's sticking to the ground with a small accumulation of 3 inches. A sweet bienvenue home as long as we have safe travels to PA tonight. Hopefully we'll join the rest of the family tomorrow afternoon.

Thank you to all of those who've been supporting me through encouragement and prayers. I don't think this chapter of my life is closed having returned from France. I have a feeling God was purposely leading me there for a short time so that I'd be able to return now to help Grandma. It's part of His plan.

Almost done better

Not sure when I'll have internet access again for a few days. Good news: Mom wrote last night and said Gramps is hanging in there and doing a little bit better. Whew! Also good news, I'm almost done packing eight hours before my train leaves. My parents know how much of a surprise that it since I am consistently one hour late whenever I pack up the car to move somewhere (after vacations, etc.).

I've started imagining people are calling my American name, "Heather" rather than the French "Elessabette". Yay, and Lindsey is here to visit!!!

Coeurs de poulette

Nannan Ying, Félix Delhomme and I had a Chinese dinner together tonight. What a blessing to sit with a Chinese and a French friend and enjoy a meal. I can't get over how far away we've grown up from each other, yet how well we get along. I'm going to miss these guys.

For the menu (thanks to Nannan): soup with beef and mushrooms, ham and green pepper plate, chicken and zucchini plate and (my favorite) a spicy dish of "coeurs de poulette" with hot peppers... chicken hearts. I even helped prepare them by cutting them in half while they were raw. Exciting, interesting adventure, huh? They were pretty good but my brain keeps asking my stomach, "Did you really just eat chicken hearts?" Starting a formal French dinner at 8pm means my belly is still full for bedtime now at midnight.

Haven't heard from a certain friend living in Paris about whether I can visit this weekend, so Félix and I made plans to go together on Friday night. Both of us are praying that the train strikes don't prevent us from getting to Paris. If T doesn't email me soon, I'll stay at the same hotel as Félix. So glad to have two plans involving friends so I won't be completely lost and alone in Paris.

Game plan:
Tomorrow: Food pantry. Say goodbye to Alison and Meg, my favorite English women. Buy the train ticket. Say good-bye to four foyer girls who are going to Prague. Close my bank account. French lesson. Dinner with Nannan and Tching. Student group, of which only Félix knows I'm leaving. Desperate Housewives with Nannan to wind down the day.
Friday: Finish packing and moving the volunteer things to the church. Train to Paris at 7:30pm.
Saturday: Louvre?!
Sunday: Notre Dame for mass?!
Monday: Fly to Boston. Wait six hours for Mom. Drive home to NH.
Tuesday: Meet up with Katie and Jamie and drive to PA (12 hours).

It's kind of hard to pack for a weekend in Paris and an indefinitely long visit to PA including an expected funeral...

Being frank

Be aware, the following may not have much politeness, political correctness or might just well be frank, a gift of Gramps'.

I met two people from the church for lunch. Acknowledging the possibilities of "errors of translation" and admitting that they are sympathetic for me, it was challenging for me to express myself (what is new?). Through barely repressed tears I explained my need to be at home with my family and to stay with my grandma for a while. J said, "Try to see it from our perspective, we don't understand the culture you come from."

"And I don't understand yours!" I actually said in French. ;-)

"Why would you as an "enfant" stay with your grandmother? In my family, I would never expect my children to stay with my parent."

Because your kids are 13, 17 and 18 years old! I thought. I'm 23, finished with college and without a full-time job. Why wouldn't I?!

"Everyone else is busy. We don't want to rush Grandma into any decisions about moving and when she does decide, she'll need someone to help her pack. The nearest relative is eight hours away."

"See, we don't understand that. Our families live closer to each other."

Yes, because if you lived twelve hours apart, you'd be in a different country!

.... "Tell us more about your experiences so we can do a better job next time." Fair enough.

"I think you should have a younger volunteer because having finished school, I don't use my education in this placement. And when an applicant says they don't speak, read or write French well on their application, you should believe them."

Without a doubt, I'm sure there were still miscommunications in the conversation and I've been judged once again unwittingly. That's the feeling I've had here consistantly since I arrived. I'm tired of representing "America".

They don't want me to write in a couple weeks, "I want to come back now." That's not going to happen.

Strange

Completely aware of the inappropriateness of me sightseeing as my gramps dies across the ocean, I'm going to try to lightheartedly describe the ways I've been trying to distract myself.

On Saturday, Nannan and I had a great time at the Musée de Grenoble. We enjoyed the impression exhibit and took turns taking artistic photos of each other in front of various pieces of art. Wish I could post them here, but I can't figure out how to email them from Nannan's Chinese computer. Funniest moment: Walking down a ramp to the ancient art exhibit, we arrive at a large stone sculpture of a torso. Nannan promply replies, "Just rocks!" and flicks it with her finger, "Ouch!". Luckily no alarms went off! As she wandered into the next room, I stood before the torso, shocked that she had just hit a sculpture from 1310 BC (!). When I collected myself, I went over to Nannan and told her what she had just done, "You just hit a sculpture from 1310 years before Christ was born 2007 years ago, which means it's more than 3000 years old!" Her eyes widened. When we walked past the sculpture on our way up the ramp, I heard Nannan saying quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." ;-)

Yesterday, I began gathering Christmas presents for my immediate family. I'd share more details, but Mom and Dad will read it...

Then Californian Sharon and I went to the Bastille in Grenoble. A fort on a nearby mountain that I look at every day as I walk through the streets. We hiked up on stone stairs and through tunnels that are from the 13th century to a beautiful view of the city. Took lots of photos that will be posted eventually, probably after I am back in NH in a few weeks.

Then we took the telepherique down the descent.

The first online article that I ever read after searching "Grenoble, France" was of one of these ball crashing and killing people. Was I ever nervous to get onboard. But at 3,30 euros (three euros, thirty cents) and the opportunity for a good story, I mean experience, I did it. Not so bravely, as I ended up scaring 18 year old Sharon and we clung to each other within the first ball waiting to go downward and unsure of the expected speed. But it went well, thank God. We survived and I think the couple from Iowa in the ball behind us got some good photos of two very scared girls inside a circle of glass. :-)

Mom will be glad to know I've started packing already. Not procrastinating for this move. The plan for me is to take a train to Paris this weekend, hopefully stay with Torgeir and visit the Louvre and Notre Dame before flying to Boston via Dublin on Monday. Mom will pick me up Monday night, we'll meet Katie and Jamie on Tuesday and start the 12 hour drive to Meadville, PA to join the rest of the family for the expected funeral. As the only family member not working full-time nor studying, I'm the chosen one to be Grandma's companion for a while. I'm happy with that since we're close. Strange iternary for the next week, non?

Homebound at last.

I'm coming home. It's been a really long weekend of ups and downs, but I learned that Gramps is really not doing well and my family is planning his funeral. God has mercifully granted me laughter and quality time with friends, as well as my first worship service in English since I arrived in Europe almost three months ago, between the tears, confusion and questioning. While we had planned that if anything happened, I could remain in France, now that it's actually happening, I don't want to grieve alone. I'm looking forward to seeing my mom's side of the family gathered in PA next week.

I have a lot of thoughts, some of hilarious moments from this weekend and some about what's going on with Gramps, but I'm too exhausted to write them now. I have a lot to do this week, including trying to get the money back for signing me up as a student. God works in mysterious ways that I am trying to appreciate.

Hiccup

anticlimactic- Something trivial or commonplace that concludes a series of significant events: After a week of dramatic negotiations, all that followed was anticlimax. (American Heritage Dictionary)

I received my temporary carte de sejour today making me no longer an étranger illégal.

No comment at this time.

Wonderful Meg is an English mom whose been living in France for 17 years for her husband's job and is very much looking forward to returning home next year. When I was honest with her on Wednesday about my dissipating reasons for being here, she described, "It's like a hiccup year for you." That's a long time to hiccup.

Heatherland

Super news in Heatherland (sorry, it's not what you were hoping to hear): At a regular check-up for students yesterday, I learned that I weigh 60 kg which means that all the French cheese, chocolate spread, wine and the feasts at the foyer have been balanced out by my refusal to use the tram regularly and the 3-story climb to my bedroom. I weigh the same as I did when I left the US 2.67 months ago!! Now if I just cut back portion sizes, I should come back a new woman. ;-)

Yesterday was also my 2 month mark here in Grenoble. Between leaving the US August 16th, arriving in France Sept. 1st and in Grenoble Sept. 6th, I have a lot of anniversaries to celebrate.

Find the good

Best misinterpretation of the week:

French J was seriously discussing matters to me and said in English, "The problem is with your incentive." My ex-TFA quills pricked up in defense. "It's not a small problem. It's a big problem but hopefully it will be fixed by the end of the week." I pondered how my criticized incentive could be fixed by Friday... He meant "inscription". The visa. And I grinned through the rest of his one-sided conversation in French.

In other news, the weekend was alright. I enjoyed being a participant and the lack of pressure to lead activities in French, but felt just a bit awkward being grouped with 14-18 year olds all of whom are younger than the seniors I taught last year... Also awkward, "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" "Yes, my little sister is 22 and my little brother is 20." ...

Recommendations of the day: If someone wants to take a break-year from school to volunteer, do it before the BA. Realizing how little I'm expected to do (minus learning the language) is disappointing... 2nd recommendation of the day: Do more research before saying yes. 3rd recommendation: Find the good. 4th recommendation: Amie Sexton, update your blog. ;-)

I refuse to hide it!

Off to another weekend retreat (not quite as relaxing and spiritually revitalizing as one in English but it's an experience). When I return on Sunday night, hopefully Nannan and Félix will be back from their long vacations! Hoping to maintain a calm, pleasant demeanor while being surrounded by French speakers for three days straight (it's not the French speakers that are difficult usually, it's the language that I understand only 45% of the time that is tiring). This time, however, I refuse to hide my leisure book written in English!

Who does that?

I'm presently eating homemade treats from Tunisia (the tan country in northern Africa) from my new friend, Mouna ("Moona"). This is why I love living here.

Still here...

Happy "Toussaint" Day!

Today I joined the rest of France wandering through the local cemeteries. Hoping to find dates that proceeded the American revolution, I was disappointed that the earliest I found in two cemeteries was 1860. Surrounded by many wanderers carrying potted plants and water canisters, I was surprised how many bouquets were placed on the graves. First of all, from what I understand a family would usually buy a two width plot of land and dig deep so that many relatives could rest there. In these city cemeteries, height/depth is the solution to limited land, just like the building architecture. Today, families covered the plots with potted plants, sometimes as many as 10 or 12 various plants. It almost seemed like a popularity contest, "Which grave could have the most flowers." But the effect is a beautiful cemetery while family members have the opportunity to remember. It's difficult, though, not to wonder about what type of legend I will leave behind. Simply a name, two dates and an age? Or an enlarged family of beloved believers? I hope I can encourage people to grow closer to God because really we're all just like temporary midsts in the air.

Went to my first club in Grenoble last night. Halloween probably wasn't the best night for me to decide to go out because the decor of the club was very much distasteful. The introverted country girl came out full force in me as soon as I breathed the dry, stale, warm air and we stayed longer than I wanted to, but I did have a little fun meeting another American and at least the people spoke English.

Well, the inevidable topic of conversation has been avoided for a few days. Let's just say that I don't have a flight home yet, and that I might just go from law-abiding citizen to illegal alien to French student by Tuesday... Who knows? (this whole debate has had some fantastic quotes that I will post once I'm in the clear). But in the meantime, I'll be off at another retreat for the weekend. This time, I understand I can be a participant rather than leader which is reassuring. It's good to know what is expected.