Malawi

Here's some more excitment unrelated to health:

Today I had an interview for an internship with Communities of Shalom which would put me in a place to organize a community for systemic change regarding the needs of the community. The two placement sites we discussed were an orphanage start in Malawi and a youth program in North Dakota on a Native American reservation. The orphanage start would be helping a UMC organize their present feeding program that aids 80 orphans daily into a long-term plan to provide for the orphans' needs holistically. How much do I want to do that internship! Eric has his interview later in the week and I'm hoping we can go together. May God's will be done...

Following the Crowd :-(

Today in Intro. to Educational Ministries, a usually great course that challenges the traditional expectations of classroom environment and interactions, a ironically disturbing thing occured.

Topic: Racism
First we reviewed vague statistics about racism and then we watched an hour long video about how racism has been politically and socially constructed (who knew that in the early 1900s only white people could gain citizenship and courts were the ones who decided who was white and non-white). Next we discussed as a class what in the film surprised us.

Good class, right?

Lastly, with 20 minutes left, the professor asked us to get into homogeneous groups to discuss a few related questions.

Does that not make you cringe? We just learned that race is not by skin color but is subjectively constructed and then we're asked to get into groups according to race. Trust me, I made a huff about leaving my black friends to join the circle of white women.

It's not a secret that I struggle with not relating to my skin color. I trace it back to being raised in an inner city black church when my mom was the pastor for a few years. I'm not the only one to have that experience affect me-- my brother's childhood role model was one of the men in the church and my sister was seven when she realized she wasn't black. Apparently, I am still struggling with that idea.

I should have followed Eyesha's advice and stayed where I was.

Best Sport

So the plan was that Eric would surprise me on Friday night and I would surprise him on Saturday night for Valentine's Day. His plan went off without a hitch and was great fun. Unfortunately, my plans A and B both fell through for various reasons and with a newly developed cold, I ended up taking a four hour nap on Vday, made it to Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner, gave Eric some chocolate and was asleep before 11pm... Today, we made it to church during which I struggled to surpress my great desire to curl up on the pew with my head in his lap in order to sleep. Afterwards, we went straight home so I could again sleep the afternoon away. Now I'm trying desperately to stay awake until Eric gets home from an evening of rehearsals in about twenty minutes. His only request is to see my eyes, so I'm doing my best. This girl's going to be asleep before long...

Oh, baby!

Today I carried my laptop to class for the first and second times, drank my first caffeinated Coke and sipped my first little bit of coffee. Yes, the day has finally arrived when I was allowed to drink caffeine. Woo-hoo!!

As for some non-self-centered-recovery information, here's a thought from my evangelism course with Len Sweet:

What does holiness mean? It doesn't mean set apart from the world. Look at Jesus' example-- Jesus remained undefiled as he went to, touched and had relationships with tax collectors, adulterers, loose women, criminals, lepers, the demon-possessed, pagans, the sick, etc. How could following Jesus' example change our lives?

A day of firsts

Today was the first time since the beginning of January that I
- drove by myself (around the block to Drew)
- walked to class
- walked up the stairs in the seminary (slowly but surely, don't look anyone in the eye as I huff)
- sang a solo in PanAf (even though my jaw's still locked)
- ate HOT AND SOUR SOUP!!!

Oh, baby!! The only other thing on my to do list (besides gain the energy to stand for more than ten minutes and walk more than 200 yards) is to get healthy enough to finally be able to drink caffeine again. Yes, I have also noticed a pattern in this blog-- that I might be obsessed with caffeinated beverages... C'est la vie.

One last happy thought, I've decided to pick up a pair of jeans that will fit better so I no longer detest getting dressed in my droopy, sloopy, oversized jeans that were new in December... Looking forward to that a lot.

And here's a closing with a shout-out to both Rhonda and Josh who I don't keep in contact nearly as much as I would hope to. Josh, I've noted your blog and Rhonda if you have one, please let me know! Miss you both.

Pepsi, Coffee and Chocolate

Every day gets better. I have a couple more tests to do for the doctor, but I'm on the mend. Eric and I walked to campus this morning even though I had to stop halfway for a long break to catch my breath. Then we got breakfast and tried to play pool but I had to stop after half a game because I was too tired. I've been getting really uncomfortable stomach cramps as if I had an intense ab workout yesterday. Granted, I managed to sit up in public spaces for about 7 hours so it really was a workout. Trying to balance exercise and rest. Good news: I have now microwaved four meals for myself and driven a few blocks after about four weeks of avoiding the wheel. My car still works despite freezing temps and little usage. The doctor also said that I need to watch my weight and make sure that I consistently gain weight for a while. :-) Gotta love that order, right? And I'm allowed to slowly start introducting fiber and lactose. I just wish that everything were immediately back to normal because Eric won't let me have caffeine until it is...

Love in action

Nine months ago Eric asked me out. :-) A month ago, we celebrated Christmas together with a mini-tree, new stockings, shrimp dip, wine and shared traditions. We had no idea that in the next four weeks, he would move in to care for me 24/7, learn how to cook, force-feed me according to various specific diets that I detested, do my laundry, handwash dishes and keep me on a med schedule that again I detested, and all without the normal benefits of a relationship. Talk about seeing me at my worst, he's seen me without make-up, in a diaper, without a shower for a week, pale and unable to walk without assistance. May God bless him, he's looking forward to me regaining weight. And through it all, he's continued to be modest and not taken advantage of baggy hospital gowns, etc. I have so much respect and love for Eric. I don't think I would have survived without him. That's not even an overstatement.

While I'm still mostly bedridden, we can't do much today, but we're going to celebrate with his amazing bacon for breakfast. I can hear it sizzling right now. And at lunch time, I take my last dose of antibiotics. Praise God! Planning to make it to class and I have a couch staked out if I can't sit up for the whole class. This is a critical day, not just in our relationship, but may the symptoms please stop as I quit the antibiotics.