Funk

Sometimes I can be a hypochondriac... But not when I'm surrounded by lots of kids counting on me and I don't notice that I've had hives for three weeks or athlete's foot for two months. So when an uneven blemish appeared way back at camp, I didn't do anything about it because I was heading off to France. When I got back in the states, I showed Mom and she suggested I show it to a doctor. He didn't recognize it, said not to ignore it and took a blood test last Friday. I had been cool joking about amputation, but for some reason last night, I freaked myself out thinking, "What if it's cancerous? Would I have to get treatment here, so far from my friends? Would I have to drop out of seminary before I started? What if I die?!" See how the hypochondriac comes out? Maybe that's why I was in a funk this morning, on the edge of tears with various thoughts about family members and desires for the future. Mom and Jamie tried to cheer me up with a Burger King's MochaJo (you've got to try that!) and offers to go shopping. I explained that I thought I needed exercise (after the MochaJo, of course). After an hour reading, I cancelled my afternoon social plans, walked the dogs and did a New Year's Evaluation (Download new_year_new_results.doc. ) as was suggested by Tom Davis. Admittedly, I then watched Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood (only admittedly because it was on TV; I do like that show) and talked to a college friend for an hour which brings me here. I've drank four cups of hot chocolate today, a MochaJo, ate one sandwich and a plate of nachos. Maybe my diet has something to do with the funk too, huh? Oh, and a glass of orange juice. A friend, Jessi, who just adopted a two-year old thinks that kids distract you from your own problems, which can be a good thing for people who stress out too much about themselves. Yeah, that might be me right now... Anyone in NH need a babysitter? Or if you're out of state, willing to pay the gas as a travel expense? ;-)

P.S. I did get the blood test results back this afternoon. I totally don't know what any of it means, but in handwriting it says at the bottom, "normal," so I guess I'm okay. If the bill were cheaper, I'd probably be better... I have a dermatologist's appointment before I go back to school, but since I only have catastrophe insurance, maybe I'll just hold out for a while trusting the blood test and avoiding amputation...